Hello everyone! Sorry that I havent been blogging, had a crazily busy two weeks of services with Pst Mike, followed by mission trip and MJZone Youth Camp. I have so much to blog about!
Mission Trip to Jakarta was beyond awesome! It was really an eye-opener for me, and for the first time in my life, I ginosko-ed for myself why people always say that there is always a special anointing that goes together with people during mission trips. Truly, God showed up wherever we went.
Based on our statistics, we conducted 14 services in 8 places, ministered to about 1000 people in total, prayed for over 500 people individually. There were also many testimonies of healing, deliverance, people touched by the power of God, praise the Lord! There was one particular woman who had gastric for 7 years, who was healed after we prayed for her. Another woman was healed of her backache. God is really so, so real.
I guess for many of us in our team, it was our first time laying hands and praying for people, and watching them tear because of how God has touched them. This mission trip has also brought our team much much closer together, and I must say that I am really so proud of every single one of us. Many of us really took the step of faith out of our comfort zone to share, give offering messages, and even to preach. In fact, most of the time we only got to know that we had to take the item at the last moment, like 2am in the morning, but none of us complained and just went on to do our part, even if it meant that we didnt have the time to sleep. So many of us were preparing our messages during our car rides, reciting our offering messages and testimonies. And when I looked at everyone sharing and preaching, I really felt so proud to be part of this wonderful team. God was truly using all of us, SOT students in a great and mighty way. We were really going all out for God, with a purpose to touch lives wherever we went :)
One of my friend asked me, what is the greatest takeaway I had from this mission trip. I guess something that kept appearing on my mind throughout the entire trip, was how even though we're all people living in different places, different cultures, different living conditions, we all serve the same, great God. We went to so many different churches, and each of them conducted their services and worship in different styles, with different target groups, but at the end of the day, we were still glorifying the same God. It made me realise how all-embracing our Father is, that even though we are all different in our own ways, when we cried out to Him, He still showed up, and always did. That is how great His love for His people is.
All I can say is, what a memorable trip it has been. I've learnt so much, seen so much. I love my team even more than before. But most importantly, I love Him even more than before :)
" The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liverty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed. - Luke 4:18"
MJZone Clothed with Fire Camp at St John's Island ended yesterday, and it was a blast!
Even though I didnt play any games at all because I had to help out with logistics and because I wasnt feeling well, God's presence was really so strong during the night sessions, especially the session with Pst Kong on the second night. I forgot when was the last time I cried so hard in the presence of God, and tears were really streaming down my face like tapwater.
I've lost my voice for quite some time now. And I must say that for a singer, it is one of the most discouraging thing that can ever happen. Our voice, is like the most important weapon that we have. Like what Pst MJ said, this is supposed to be my gifting from God. Without it, I really feel quite lost. I finally experienced why Pst Bobby told SOT that he was feeling rather discouraged when he lost his voice and couldnt preach.
But nonetheless, I still continued to lead worship with my half-gone voice for the first night session for the camp with Pst MJ, and also for the morning session with Darryl. I couldnt even reach the high notes in the songs anymore, but I really thank God that His presence came. I was quite surprised myself, that He used someone like me, whose voice was really quite horrible then, to bring His presence. Thank You, for showing up, God :)
After BV-ing for Pst Kong's session on the second night, my voice was really almost gone. I was feeling so sick that I didnt even want to talk anymore. When we stood up to worship, my heart was feeling so heavy that I started crying out to God to ask Him to heal me.
While I was worshipping, I felt God telling me,
"Do you really need Me to cause you to totally lose your voice, before you finally realise that it is never about how good you are?
It is not about who you are, but who I am."
All along, I've always had a big problem with the "not-good-enough" issue. I always think that whatever I do, its never enough and it can be better. I always think that I can never be better than others, and that there are many things that I am not worthy of. And like what a number of people told me during the SOT sessions with Pst Mike, I always find it hard to forgive myself. I always take the blame on myself, and I tend to find fault with myself all the time.
I guess God was right that night. It is never about how good I am.
This is still something that I've been trying to change within my mind. I need to stop thinking that I am not good enough. Who am I trying to please? God says that I am good enough, as long as I did my best. And I know that I did :)
This camp left me thinking about alot of things. About my dreams, about friendships, about who God really is to me. I am still trying to find my answers in many of these, and I am still going through the test that God has for me. At the end of the day, its all for You Lord. A pure heart, thats all I want.
Though I walk through the valleys,
I will not be afraid,
For You are with me :)